break my heart

Love isn't typically part of my vocabulary when it comes to men.  If you are a man, you will never hear me tell you that I love you.  I will sign my letters "luv" or scribble a heart above my name.  I cannot say "love" to you.  The word is reserved.  I don't know for who. I don't know when or if it will ever come out of my mouth.  I feel it sometimes.  I feel it sometimes so much that there is an ache somewhere inside of me.  And not letting the word come out makes the ache stronger.  But as is with most aches, it goes away.  I let it pass.  I let it go.  It goes away.  And I get over it.

Backspace...backspace...backspace...backspace and its gone.

I imagine that if the word were to ever escape my lips it would be a spillage. Bright red letters flowing from my mouth onto my pillow and pouring into your ear.

And I wonder what would happen if those words spilled into your ear.  Would they make it from your ear to your heart?  What would happen?  I don't know, so I don't take the risk.

We are laying in bed.  I say to you, "Its been a really long time since I've had my heart broken.  Like, really REALLY broken." 

You say, "I would never break your heart."

"Its okay.  I'm ready." I say.

Comments

[Heather]

Hi! I just happened upon your blog and I love your writing style. If you don't mind, I think I will keep up with you. You are a great artist and I can tell you love your dog; but, why is he named "Daisy" when he is a boy?

Sorry the 24th was a bad day for you!

Heather

[krista]

Aw! Bozena, I love you so much!

I just saw this movie called "The Wackness" about a kid graduating highschool, who is a drug dealer, and he falls in love with this girl- there is this part where she does something to betray him and he says, "wait- stay right there" and he just looks at her and says, " I've never had my heart broken before, I want to remember it" And then he walks out.

I loved it.

I miss you and can't wait to see you again. Maybe next weekend you want to come to the cottage with me and the kids and daisy?

let me know.

[Jennifer P.]

I don't know if this is the most recent post or not---it's just the one google brought me to. I LOVE your drawings and am using the one of your superhero for my post right now. I'll make sure to give you the credit!

WHAT TALENT :)!

All the best to you!