This week in my Life Coaching session I had an "Aha!" moment. You know...when a connection is made in your mind and you realize why you do the things that you do and your life suddenly makes a little more sense, but it FREAKS you out that you went about living your whole adult life not knowing.
My "Aha!" moment was slow to register. I had it in my session on Friday, and I started freaking out about it the following Tuesday.
Here's a brief, itemized synopsis of what brought me to this pivotal point:
1. I started Life Coaching to work on the following things: communication, transparency and career advancement within my company.
2. Life Coaching took a drastic turn after the topic of my love of creating art kept coming up. The focus continued to be on communication and transparency, but the career development part turned into a two-year plan to get me out of the corporate office world and into one where I'm living a life where I'm doing what makes me happy and harnessing the confidence to believe I can sustain myself doing it. And then actually living it.
3. I posted a while ago about how I was raised to believe that expressing emotion was highly undesirable, which was a post that spawned from one of my Life Coaching sessions.
4. In my most recent Life Coaching session I realized that I express my emotions through my art, but I keep my art small, generally hidden, and I don't take care of it after it is finished.
5. The actual "Aha!" is this: I do the same thing with my art that I've been taught to do with my emotions...keep them hidden, highly private and undervalued. Of course I've always done that! My art is an expression of feeling and feelings are NOT to be expressed (or so I've believed all these years).
No wonder its such an embarrassment to me to talk about my art, display it, or accept any sort of compliment about it. And what if someone CRTICIZED my art? Would that be a direct attack on my emotions? I probably would have thought so before last Friday.