I wasn't sure if I was excited about the party or if I was excited about the dress. I quickly realized when I arrived at the party that it was the dress. The dress was a month in the making. I chose the style. The pattern. Had four fittings. Saw it from conception to its birth. A dress all my own. A one of a kind. Fit me perfectly. Like it was a part of me.
I felt pretty that night. I don`t normally feel like that. It felt nice.
I also wasn`t feeling social that night, so I spent the evening trying to avoid people, which isn`t easy at a work Christmas party. I think that I`m just not a social person in general. Actually, I don`t think that. I know that. But what I am, however, is completely comfortable being in the spotlight. Put me in front an audience and I`m on. Which is precisely what happened at the party. I was trying to hide away in corners, but when it came time to draw the names and announce the winners of a game that we were playing in front of a group of people I felt completely at home.
Which is weird because I`m supposed to be presenting four training sessions at work with my boss, and he had to back out of two of them. I went into total panic mode at the thought of doing the training sessions by myself. Suddenly the spotlight was frightening to me. I went to him and told him that I felt uncomfortable doing the training on my own and told him that I think that I lacked the `charisma` to do it on my own. He laughed and offered up someone else to accompany me and said, `You bring the knowledge and I`ll find someone to bring the charisma`.
In that moment I felt immense relief at not having to present the training on my own. But truthfully, I kind of wish that he didn`t let me off the hook so easily.
I think sometimes I just need a little push to do scary things.
Perhaps if I wore my dress, it would make this stint in the spotlight a little easier.
This is so brave and so beautiful
Posted by: flutter | December 12, 2008 at 08:56 PM
I love the awareness of the story, but I especially love the image!
Posted by: deezee | December 12, 2008 at 09:29 PM
Yes wear that dress often, it is magic. I actually can relate to your story quite a bit. Lovely of you to share it.
Posted by: Tammie | December 13, 2008 at 01:50 PM
Yes wear that dress often, it is magic. I actually can relate to your story quite a bit. Lovely of you to share it.
Posted by: Tammie | December 13, 2008 at 01:55 PM
Nice story about your dress. Hope you wear it often to feel good and to help you with your confidence. Yes, I agree if the boss pushed you a little more, you would do just fine. I have had to be pushed a little to do the things I want to do. Anyway, there is nothing wrong either with having someone supportive helping you with a project either. Either way is fine as long as you just feel good about yourself in whatever you do. Take care. Sincerely, Connie
Posted by: Connie | December 13, 2008 at 04:40 PM
i like the watercolor illo she looks so sweet. i can relate to your story, although i am a total behind the scenes girl. no spot light for me.
Posted by: s.l.greek | December 14, 2008 at 06:05 PM
I hate being front and centre. Preferring to brood and fester behind the scenes.
I say wear the dress, stumble in on broken heels like you have been dancing all night.
They will be so shocked and in awe of this articulate broken dance fairy.
sorry. rambling.....
Posted by: crazymumma | December 30, 2008 at 01:04 AM
Oh darling, in or out of that dress, I can not imagine you would be anything but a glow with the light you carry in your words, your heart.
Posted by: conversemomma | December 30, 2008 at 01:50 PM