I took a much needed day off from work last Tuesday to recover from a depression that I didn't think I'd be able to see my way out of. I spent a day playing, laughing, loving, and eating soup at Hamilton's annual Soup Fest. Maybe soup is better for far more than just colds. Not that I'm credit soup to my feeling better. I think my depression just ran its course as it does every once in a while.
When it was over (which I'm hoping it is) I remembered a recent conversation my life coach and I had. Its not often I ask her questions about herself, but when I do, or when she offers information about herself, I devour her every word and secretly hold back joy when she divulges pieces of herself. So, anyway, we were talking about the concept of the things we know for sure. These are the things that we truly believe. Listening to what you believe from the depths of yourself, beneath all those layers that the world around us has enveloped us in. When she presented this question to me, of what I know for certain, I was stumped. Not a single thing ran through my mind. So, I asked her the same question and she answered it effortlessly. And not only did she give me one answer, but she gave me several. One of her answers was "I know for sure that love conquers all". She knew what it sounded like when she said it -- cliche, ordinary, simplistic. But when she said it, I believed her. I could tell, without her telling me everything in parentheses, that this woman has been through some shit in her life and now she believes that this is true.
So, upon my awakening from a selfish, loathsome, mean waking sleep, I remembered her statement of love conquering it all. I remembered it in parallel with the memory of my lover holding me while I cried, yelled, and tried to push him away. I remembered it at the memory of my lover's face filled with helplessness and tears because he didn't know how to help me. I remembered it at the memory of my lover not leaving my side as I raged against him, tried to kick him out of my apartment, tried to break up with him. He loved me during every ugly minute.