There's this cupcake place near where I live, simply called "Cupcakes". These things are incredible. Normally you think of a cupcake as a little cake with frosting on top. But these things are like magic.
And I lost my job this week. I'm shifting between nausea, excitement, tears, optimism, anger, and loneliness. I am somewhere in between mourning and celebration. The loneliness is what I feel the most, though. Its the strongest at nighttime and when I awake. I'm trying to just feel all the feelings as they come rather than rushing through the bad ones in a hurry to make myself feel better and because of this I have found calm. Still, everything feels like its bigger than me right now.
So, I guess I'm going to just take the next week or so and be really good to myself. Things like running everyday. Taking Daisy to the dog park each evening. Staying up late and sleeping in past 7am. Painting. Reading. Convincing my lover to skip work in favor of going to an amusement park with me. Enjoying the last bit of summer as though I had nothing to worry about. And dammit, I deserve a lemony cupcake with a delicious, gooey, lemon-filled center and a mountain of delicious frosting so, I'm going to get one of those too.
I'm so sorry about your job loss. I have watched my husband go through the same experience this year. I saw his pain and feeing of inadequacy. You know what they say about life closing a door and opening a window? I believe with all my heart that with a talent such as yours (incredible painting skills) fate has a plan for you.
Posted by: patti pfaendtner | August 22, 2009 at 10:54 AM
I am sorry to hear you lost your job. Be creative, paint, write, make things, cook - and in all that there will be idea's how to be :D and at the same time: being creative gives lots of joy, but you know that already :D
Posted by: Sabine | August 30, 2009 at 06:07 AM