Here's what you don't do: You don't surprise your lover in bed by biting his buttocks while he is turned away from you setting his alarm clock. I have come to learn this lesson the hard way because this action turned into a swift reaction from him which created contact with his arm and my chin and therefore resulted in what was a dislocated jaw. It was painful, but whatever. I can deal with that. I can sleep that off and wait to see a doctor the next day. But what I can't live with is a lower jaw that is shifted to the right and skews my entire face and makes me look like a monster.
11 P.M. and off to the emergency room we go. I'm already stressed out because of this stupid jaw situation, but in addition, I had a test scheduled early the next morning and I NEEDED my sleep. Oh, and what stressed me out even MORE was when my lover, rather than quickly rushing out the door with me to go to the hospital, thought that he would first rummage through the fridge for something to eat.
I also learned that, although I am afforded free health care in this wonderful country o' mine, my tax dollars can only pay for one emergency room doctor, which translates into a two-hour wait time on a slow night at the hospital.
I inquired as to how much longer I would have to wait and I was next on the list behind a few people, one of which was a woman who fell on her face and had already been waiting for hours. So, I decided to take myself off the waiting list. There were way more needy people there than me that night. But seriously, is that the way our health care system should work?
Oops, I hurt myself. Let me assess for myself whether my time is more valuable than my health. And then let me assess where on the scale of severe to really severe my injury falls into and then decide if I'm willing to spend three hours or so in a waiting room.
I could go on a rant here about how there aren't enough doctors here and that they're not getting paid enough for what the do and that's why they're fleeing across the border and that's why a specialist appointment for me to have LUMP checked out months ago took 5 weeks (and that was fast!) and how everyone blames doctors and hospitals, but really its what we call 'government'. And they're raising taxes this year and where is my money going? I have wonderful ideas as to where 35% of my income should have been going for the past fifteen years. But I'll stop there.
So, what I'm trying to do here, in essence, is to give you some advice. If your lover ever accidentally injures you because you were doing something slightly ridiculous to him, do this: Look into his eyes lovingly and ask him if he could have possibly hit you any harder because, really, he'd be doing you a favor, because if you're unconscious, you'll get in to see the doctor IMMEDIATELY. Its the truth. You'll get bumped up to the top of the list.
Disclaimer: This post in no way advocates violence against women.
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